Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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