She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
