You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Randomize