ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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