i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
send nudes
from the living room?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize