Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Damn victory sex feels great
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
