Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I supernannyed him into submission
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize