sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize