he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
