there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
