so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My dick has a subreddit
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
