i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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