Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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