just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
