I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
