Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You took a bar mat shot.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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