is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
