Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
