: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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