Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
