Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
