So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My life is pants optional.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
