Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
