lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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