i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
