Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
