Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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