I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
