what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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