I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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