Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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