he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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