mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
