well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
