These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
