your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
