your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
sex in a hospital.. check
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
