Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
