I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
