I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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