it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
