YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
