so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize