that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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