apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
