Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
