FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
