I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Non-Jews are for practice
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
