so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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