Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
don't judge my taste in strippers
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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