She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
