She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
