Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
