I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
