And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
