Cold hands, warm shart.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
