Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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