I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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