In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize