Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
