go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
