she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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