what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
