There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
