Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I deserve to be covered in dicks
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
