He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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