Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize